Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Randomize