I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
