I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize