Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
