I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
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