So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize