I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
