You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
