Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
