Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Randomize
