I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
