I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
