Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
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