but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
