well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
