If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
