sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I just saw a hot homeless man
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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