her vagine was all disorganized.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize