Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I'm always down for nudity.
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