Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
