I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
