Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I just gargled with NyQuil
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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