i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
