So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
