grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
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