She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
another moral hangover. fuck.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
