She said her name was "party"
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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