your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
