Barsexuality is the new black.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
