You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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