i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
