Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Randomize
