i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Randomize
