Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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