You don't have asthma, your pregnant
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
True college students do jello shots in the library
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