are you still at the devil's house?
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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