apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Randomize
