some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
When did angry sex become our thing?
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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