Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
