so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
