I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize