If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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