But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
My bed is full of blood and feathers
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
