It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
