i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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