Your dad touched me again.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Randomize
