My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
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