i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize