census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
i will never coherently bang her
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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