ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
