He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
