And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
True college students do jello shots in the library
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