You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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