I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Randomize
