Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
