i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
