they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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