I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Randomize
