A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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