You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
