so that wasnt chicken after all
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
